1 year

Check out the adoption ticker on the side. It's been counting the days, weeks, months since we started our process. You will note that it has started over. Why? Because today marks 1 year since we 'officially' started the adoption process. I think adoption has always been on my heart, but exactly 1 year ago, we applied to our home study agency. 2 days later we applied to AAI.
It's been an unbelievable journey...full of emotion!
I've experienced the highest highs to the lowest lows, and truly, God has taught me ALOT!
I'd have to say the biggest lesson I've learned is PATIENCE! I know I'm not a patient person, so it makes sense that God continued to keep me in a situation that forced me to be patient. I'll have to admit, that I did not always perform beautifully, but I DO thank God for the lesson! I will never forget it, and I'm sure it will pop up again in life!
The other GIANT lesson I've learned is trust...and with that, not worrying!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Prov 3:5-6)
I generally have the hardest time with the 2nd part of that verse. I usually try to figure everything out on my own, only to figure out (way past the time I should have) that what I'm doing is not the deciding factor. God has been/is/always will be in control. I cannot change my situation, but I can respond positively to the trials I face. :)
Getting back to the year marker -
1 year ago, we started this process with one beautiful boy. This year we have 2 beautiful boys, and next year at this time, both boys will be here with us!
I truly can't wait to take that first family picture!! :)
God is good.

Welcome Bag

That's Right! Today I sent out Megersa's welcome bag!
It was really fun to put together, yet so hard to think of just those FEW things that would fit. I chose to give Megersa one of Cale's outfits he barely wore. It was in good shape and it already smells like our family, so I figured, why not! :)
I also found this great toy. Like I said before, these days I feel dense as to what 2-3 month old babies are interested in. Anything that goes in their mouth, right? :) If you look at the pic, you can see the toy. The giraffe's face is smiling at you!
This giraffe is one of those Lamaze toys. Usually between $15-20, but because I found it thrown in a clearance bin with no tag, I got it for $2! It is brightly colored, and has jingly legs. It's got rings to bite and it squeaks! I hope Megersa likes it! :)
I also included a photo album with pictures of Tim, Cale and I.
Getting the photo album together was a process, let me tell you!
See, our camera broke. Yes, another camera. This time last year we had the same problem. Ooh, and this time the year before. Cameras and Katies just dont seem to want to remain together. After only a 5 month relationship, I had to break up with our Kodak Easy Share M683...because it stopped trying.
Anyway...I have pics on my computer, so I decided to order them via York photos (note: I would not recommend this site if you actually want your pictures in the amount of time they promise you.) I ordered them last Monday, and I was told via email (on Wednesday) that they were being shipped out, and should arrive Thursday.
Today is Monday, and still I have no York pictures! This was the last peice of the puzzle for the welcome bag, so...'impatient me' chose to go to Walmart today and order pictures that are most likely 6 months-1 year old. We look basically the same. My hair is shorter and I'm not sporting the blonde highlights anymore...but Tim hasn't really changed.
Cale has, but Megersa won't care, will you buddy?? :)
I just couldn't wait any longer to send his bag! So, I got the pics printed out, then labeled all of them. It was SO fun to write
"Your Mommy"
"Your Daddy"
"Your big brother Cale."
I also included a disposable camera (so that the nannies could take pictures of him) and wrote Megersa a letter (in the hopes that a volunteer or traveling family could read it to him), and that's about all.
Oh wait...the most special part (at least it was for me)!
See, even though I am 26, I have a favorite blanket.
A special blanket.
A blankie. :)
Yep. It's actually is suppose to be a duvet cover, but I use it as a sheet. For whatever reason, the idea came to me that I should cut off a peice and give it to Megersa. This may sound goofy to people, but it's like letting him know he has a peice of Mommy's heart! AWE! :)
He does though. I'd cut out a piece for Cale too if I didn't think he'd just give it right back to me (he's already attached to "purple blanket").
But yeah, it's queen sized, so there's still plenty left for me. If you look at the pics, you'll see a white thing with red scribbles. Well, the 'scribbles' are actually hearts. It looks like a child just scribbled hearts all over the blanket. I love it. Really, I sleep with it every night. I don't like sharing covers, so this way, I don't have to! I know, I know...I'm a child.
So, I cut out a square from my blanket and hand-stitched the ends. It should smell like me because I am the only one who is allowed to use it (sorry Tim), and I sprayed some of my perfume on it (so Megersa can get use to my smell).
Now my blanket has a peice missing, but I like it even more.
I wrapped it all up, and sent it out priority. Hopefully it gets there this week, and then the next traveling staff member or family can bring it to him.
End welcome bag post.

budgeting....

So Tim and I started this new "system" to try to curb our spending. Instead of using our debit card for food and household items, I've been given a bi-weekly budget, in cash. When the cash is gone, it's gone until next pay period.
This is the first 2 week period we started it, and we'll make adjustments accordingly...and we'll NEED to. :)
Continue story:
While I started out this adventure thinking that the amount allotted to me would be no problem, I quickly came to the beginning of week 2 with less than $10 in hand.
As this is the night before pay day I can state that we are currently out of:
milk, eggs, bread, juice, crackers, fruit, cereal, meat... and many other "filler items" that we don't REALLY need, like snacks and desserts. :)
Thankfully we're going to the bank tomorrow and DIRECTLY after that, the grocery store to stock up! I love love love having a full fridge and pantry!
As this experiment has been kinda fun (to see how long we could go - and I think it's long enough! :), I was struck with the weight of this whole project. Though we are out of things, and we are waiting to cash Tim's check tomorrow, it's not like we CANNOT go to the store. If we needed to, we could move money around.
I thought about that freedom.
Coincidentally, Tim asked me what I was thinking about, and I told him that I was mentally preparing a grocery list.
No big deal, right?
Well, my thoughts continued to go from there. For dinner tonight Cale had the last of the rice crispies and milk. The fact that the milk was gone, just seemed so final. (We currently only have 3 people in our house and we go through at least a gallon of milk a week, sometimes more!)
I started thinking about Megersa. I don't know his birth mother's reason for giving him up, but I'd like to think it was because she was hoping that she was doing what she thought was best for him. Perhaps she couldn't provide for him. He was estimated to be about 3 weeks old or so in his first report, and I wonder if his birth mom kept him as long as she could provide milk for him.
I mentally put myself in her situation (as best I could)...and the thought of not being able to provide food or milk for my children TORE at me. It broke me, and I crumbled. I started bawling there in the car just as we were pulling in to church. (And if you know me, you know I'm not a crier.) I had to suck it up, and frantically wipe off my face before entering.
But I was having a hard time. See, I cannot even IMAGINE the heart-wrenching ache a mother would feel in the pit of her stomach to watch her baby crying from hunger. Then making the choice to give him. The poverty that would come with such a decision is devastating.
I have to admit that normally I'm the type of person that pretends the world is full of marshmallows and rainbows. I don't really like to watch the news, and I never watch violent movies (even war movies) because I like to think that those kinds of things don't happen. (Stupid yes, I know.)
But, falling in love with Mergersa has forced me to open my eyes up WIDE to situations that I could never imagine myself in. I stare at his little picture ALL day and I love him so much already. I couldn't even fathom having to give him up.

God has truly blessed me. Not just with food and clothing, but with my husband and 2 sons. Lord, with your help, I will NOT take what I have for granted.

I can't even stand it!!

Megersa baby, you are JUST ADORABLE!!!!!!!
I have another picture and it only proves my point further!
I CANNOT EVEN STAND HOW CUTE HE IS!
I sooooo wish I could post pictures of him for all to see.
Don't worry folks, it should only be a few months longer!
Today marks 1 week of waiting for Megersa. The week has FLOWN by.
Every day I get more and more excited.
I got a new diaper bag from Freecycle.
My friend got me an Ergo baby carrier (great for bonding!) on Craigslist.
We took down Cale's crib, and moved the rocking chair into Megersa's room in preparation for his arrival. Note: Megersa's room still needs LOTS of work! :)
I've been putting together his welcome bag, and buying him warm outfits (for his impending arrival in early March, maybe??).
We got Megersa's paperwork in the mail today. We'll have to sign our name another hundred times, but this time, it's to state that we are going to be parents to Megersa Timothy Nester. It was surreal seeing his name on paper.
No, we're not giving him the middle name Timothy (Cale already has it, and we're not doing repeats). In Ethiopia, a child (boy or girl) will take the father's name as his/her 2nd name (not sure if it's considered a "last name" there. So on the file, it says that we agree to parent Megersa Timothy Nester...etc, etc. :)
It's all so very exciting! We'll send them back in the mail on Monday most likely, when we have his welcome bag ready.
On another note, I had another consultation with a different doctor to discuss Megersa's file. It was a phone interview, so it wasn't as thorough as perhaps it might be in person (but this specific consultation I was told would cost $93, which is why we chose another doc).
He seemed to be more concerned about what he saw in the file. We chatted for awhile about his concerns.
It did not sway our decision (nor was that what he was trying to do), but it IS getting me to pray HARDER for our little guy. I would covet prayers from everyone else as well! I'm not going to go into specifics, just please pray that any issues are resolved and that Megersa is 100% healthy by the time we pick him up!
It's a tall order considering where he's at in life right now, but our God is a BIG God!
Thank you to all who have been following our journey. It feels so wonderful to be able to share this experience!

WE ACCEPTED!

I feel like each day gets BETTER! I love watching my ticker count up from the days we first saw his face, because it actually is counting DOWN the days until we can get him! Tim feels like the wait on his side is harder. Hm. Not me. I'm elated!
Today I met with an International Doctor to discuss Megersa's file and well...the long and the short of it is: it's a go! As with any international adoption there are always going to be some unanswered questions, but with what we know, he looks great. And that the things we are concerned about now, will most likely not be an in issue in time. Isn't that wonderful! Please continue to pray for his health.
God is soooo good and I know He's watching over my baby!

So for those of you who really appreciate how the "process works" (for me anyway), I will let you know what happens after you accept your referral:
I called and ________ answered. I told her who I was and that we were ready to accept Megersa's file! She sounded very excited (as if I just gave birth, lol!).
Before I even had to ask, she told me what to expect in the days/weeks/months ahead.
We will be getting the placement agreement via snail mail, to sign and return to AAI. They will simultaneously notify the staff in ET that we accept!!!!!
The staff in ET will prepare to merge our file with Megersa's! YEAH!!
(Hearing this was all so beautiful to me! It's like at 1:30pm on Monday, Nov 9, Megersa and I became a family (and of course, Tim and Cale too ;).
Okay, moment over. If I continue to type about the change that has happened in this baby's life in the past month, I will cry.
SO.....moving on.
_______ told me that Megersa's intake day was Sept 24, so he won't be eligible for court filing until November 24. That might sound bad, but I was originally told he came into care Oct 5, so we had our sights set on Dec 5.
Those few days can make a difference!
After he's eligible, she mentioned it'd be another 1-2 weeks till he's filed. I don't know if that means the court letter that everyone talks about, or something different, but either way, she said it should be the 1st or 2nd week of December when his case is filed?? (I think that's what I understood.)
I'm going to try to see if I can get that clarified.
Projected timeline from now:
Nov 24, eligible.
1st-2nd week December, filed.
From filing to court date, about 2-6 weeks.
From court date to travel, now about 6 weeks.
If we pass court, we will get scheduled for an Embassy Interview.
AAI's meetings are scheduled on Wednesdays...every other Wednesday.
And we will need to be in Ethiopia that week from Monday to Friday, as is required if we decide to travel (vs escort...which we will).

What else? Oh...I was told I would get instructions on putting together a welcome bag for Megersa (which I have already started!!!)...and that I should send it back to AAI and the next traveling staff member will take it over and take some pics of Megersa in his outfit!
I CAN'T WAIT!
I've been told that one of the staff members is coming back from ET as an escort for a baby girl soon, and should return to ET before Thanksgiving....so I need to put this bag together quickly and send it out asap!

do you see what i see?

My baby boy is 2 months old.
It's been 2 years and 5 months since I had a 2 month old at home.
I kinda forget what they look like.
The pictures I have of Megersa are very 'up-close and personal'...which have been so helpful in memorizing his little face, but I really want a "body shot."
Because the pictures of him are just of his chest and face, he doesn't look that small, but yesterday I got re-aquainted with the size of 2 month old babies.
I went to a baby shower and one of the guests had a baby there...a 2 month old baby.
Then, I went to the store and the family in front of me at the checkout line had a baby boy in a stroller. I HAD to ask how old he was. I got the feeling, and I was right. "2 months old"
It's like when I was pregnant:
My eye was drawn to other pregnant ladies. I saw them EVERYWHERE!

2 months old is so tiny. 9.4 lbs is so LIGHT!
At the store I went looking through the baby clothes picking out things I thought would look cute on Megersa...then I'd look at the size...and notice it was '12 months' or '18 months'! I thought, MAN, I use to be so good at guessing!
So, I decided to deliberately look at the sizes and found something that was for an 8-12 lb baby. Sized, 0-3 months.
AWE! Sooooooooooo tiny!

Megersa, will you just stay 2 months old and 9.4lbs until Mommy can come get you? :)

((And just because I can't post a picture of my 2 month old baby boy, I'll post a picture of a 2 month old kitty! Look at his size compared to the orange! AWE!!!))

"The Call"

How did it happen? When did it happen? Where did it happen?
Those questions and more will all be answered! I'll tell you the story:

ONCE UPON A TIME...
It was a sunny, November day...Thursday the 5th to be exact, at 1pm (11am Adoption Advocates time).
I had JUST walked upstairs after putting Cale down for a nap, and sat down on my favorite chair (the barstool at our kitchen countertop) to do some internet surfing while I ate lunch. Before I could even open up the computer, my phone rang.
Now let me tell you, NORMALLY before I even answer the phone, I can guess (pretty accurately I might say), who it is judging by what time of the day it is, or what day it is. But, this one took me by surprise. I figured it was Tim...but as my eyes gazed to my phone, I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was:
Adoption Advocates!!
My eyes BULGED - you know, like in the cartoons (ahhhooooga!) - and I picked it up.
"Hello?" I said timdily.
"Hello, is this Kathryn Nester?"
"Yes."
"This is __________ from Adoption Advocates, how are you doing?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Fine, thanks. I see that you liked to be called Katie?"
"Yes."
(At this point in time, I still cannot tell you why I was so timid when I continued to answer. Perhaps because I had been dreaming about that moment for so long, my brain was in shock and not giving my voice box the shrillness I figured would accompany such an event.) anyway...moving on.
"I have a few questions for you."
"Okay?"
Then she proceeded to ask me about my I600A and if I filed for it. Which I had. She told me that she wasn't seeing a copy of it, and it's important for the child's visa when they come home.
WHAT?? My brain was screaming!
I quickly pulled out my folder of files and grabbed the 171H (the paper you get after you are approved for the I600A) and asked if they wanted me to fax it over today, as I quietly hyperventilated.
"There's no rush...we just want to make sure families have this so there is no delay in bringing children home."
"Okay."
Really, at this point, I was having doubts that this was going to be "THE CALL" but thankfully, she continued to talk.
"I want to tell you about a baby boy!!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...was all I could think!
She continued to tell me about my little man, where he was from and his background story, and she read his file to me. I interrupted.
"What's his name?" (again, I was so shy, it still kinda boggles my mind - as if this is an inappropriate question)
"Megersa"
:)
As she read through the rest of the file, I scribbled as much information as I could down on a scrap piece of paper lying on my countertop. She was going too fast!
I asked her to repeat some things for me.
"It's all in the file, which we will send to you, if you're interested?"
YES, YES, YES!
I had a few questions for her (but of course, now I can think of a hundred different things I want to know) and she answered.
Then she told me that she specifically remembered my baby the last time she was in Ethiopia.
"I remember standing over his crib with ____, commenting on how we hadn't heard the name Megersa in awhile."
It woke me up from my shock. He's THERE! She's seen him!
He's a REAL PERSON, and someday soon...he'll be home.
THE WEIGHT WAS LIFTED!
She told me that they would send the file asap. Then we hung up.

I called Tim at work.
Casually, to throw him off, I said "hey babe, what's up?"
"Not much, why?"
(then I got hysterical - it finally kicked in!)
WE GOT THE CALL!
Tim now, was in disbelief.
"No we didn't!"
"YES....his name is Megersa and he's 2 months old.....(etc)"
Tim still didn't believe me...but I told him to get on my Gmail account because we would be getting his file in the next few minutes.
We waited.
IT WAS TORTURE!
I think both of us hit the 'refresh' button, oh, 1000 times!
It was probably only 10 minutes, but finally, we got the file...and we saw his face!
(I TRULY wish I could his picture, but we can't until we pass court and are legally his parents!! :)
I must say, he is simply adorable!
Really...I can't stop looking at him.
I carry his picture around all day. We only have 2 pics, and that will probably have to hold us over for another month and a half, because no one seems to be traveling in November. BOO! Thankfully one of the 2 pictures was from that day.

Nov 5...referral day.

Believe me though, he's beautiful, and, to quote my friend Rachael:
"He looks like a million bucks!"
He does. He's perfect.
Anyway, we spent the REST (literally...I was on the phone all day - Cale got pretty perturbed I wasn't playing with him) of the day calling people and sharing our good news!
I couldn't stop smiling! And I was actually smiling so hard for so long, I had to take advil! haha!
I'm just so happy. Everything is better now.
People ask me how much longer till we travel and we say "probably another 4-6 months." They are usually really upset for us...but I say, NO! We've been in the process for 1 year, and it has been an uphill climb. We kept ADDING days to our wait, but now we can SUBTRACT! Counting down is SOOOOOOOOO much better than counting up (unless it's money, haha!).
THE HARDEST PART IS OVER!
I know some people dont feel that way, they think the wait is much more brutal after referral, but I disagree. The fact that I have a name, and a face, and some stats about my son is truly a gift. I can breathe deeply again.
To top it all off (as if this isn't wonderful enough)...my Cale seems enamored with "Baby Brother."
Megersa's picture is on the background of my computer and Cale gets upset when it's blocked by an email or anything.
"I wanna see baby brother!" It's just so cute.
He's totally butchering the name Megersa, but, let's face it...it IS a tough one.
Yesterday he was playing with my cell phone (which has his picture on the screen) and he told me he wants "Baby Brother on Mommy's pone."
I'm not naive to think that it wont be an adjustment for Cale, but I really think that next year, they'll be inseparable!

We have an appointment with an International Doctor on Monday to look over Megersa's file and after that we'll "officially accept"!!!
I will of course, be posting again soon!
Thank you so much to all of you who have prayed for us over the past few months! I know God has been using your strength because mine was often failing. I feel renewed and I praise God for this miracle!
Please continue praying for Megersa's health...there are some issues to consider, but we are confident that it's nothing we can't handle (with God's help, of course!)

THE END.