confronting the monster

I have a pet, and his name is Jealousy. I dont care much for him, but he won't run away no matter how much I try to ignore him and make him feel unwanted. He's a pest and unfortunately grows no matter what kind of garbage I give him. Jealousy finds food even when I try to hide him away. I'm trying to teach him to obey...to be a good pet, and listen when I say "stop!" or "no!" but it is very difficult. I'm hoping in time he can be trained. I feel frustrated with Jealousy, but I also feel bad for him because he doesn't understand why he must not act this way.

Okay, Jealousy the Pet doesn't exist, but sometimes I wish it did so I could make excuses for it's behavior.
Have you ever felt happy for someone and upset for you at the same time?

Here's me. A little girl, obviously happy for her auntie or whoever it is, but jealous of her man's congratualtory kiss!

I'm so incredibly happy for some of my friends...I have one who just came home with her baby. HOME...with baby! Since I don't even have a referral, I can't really even picture it. Another friend, 2 months ahead of me, had her referral in less than 4 months, and about 3 months later is at court. She may be traveling in a few weeks! I hope to get a picture of our baby in a few weeks. There are others who I dont know well, who have referrals in 3 months and a few days. I remember thinking before my 3 month check in that I was SO CLOSE! Now, staring into the business end of our 4 month phone call, I am nervous of what I will hear.
This may make me seem like a bad person, but I really AM happy for these people.

When I was smack in the HUGENESS of pregnancy, I remember feeling jealous when people gave birth to their babies. I counted the days I had left, so anxious to be done and to have him.
But when I got to hold Cale for the first time, after the long pregnancy, and the painful C-section, I thought, how could I have complained? He is the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen, and INSTANTLY my trials turned into joy.
I know at the end of this process I will think and feel the same way.
Until then though, the Lord is going to have to get me through! And I know He will. Here are some awesome verses I found on the topic:
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride (Ec. 7:8).
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the body (Pr. 14:30).
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (Js. 3:16).
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Th. 5:18).

I've decided I'm going to give Jealousy to God. He likes stray pets, right? :)