Dream

I woke up this morning in the middle of a beautiful dream. I cannot remember the whole thing, but I definitely still have that last "snapshot" scene in my head. In the dream, I went to check on Cale, like I do every night before I go to bed. When I walked into his room, I saw three children, and my husband, all asleep. Tim was laying on a twin bed with our adopted son, Jace (and this time I got a good look at his face, and he was beautiful!). Cale was laying on the floor (and he was much older) amongst a bundle of blankets - ((not sure why he was on the floor)), and there was also an infant fast asleep in a crib.
The baby in the crib was another biological baby...a boy...all boys.
My immediate thought when I "came to" was, "whoa...we need to get going on our adoption of a girl!" (which we definitely plan to do if we have two more boys! :)
Anyway, it's too bad you can't plug your brain in at night and record the good dreams, so we can revisit them as often as we'd like. Then I could share it here on my blog for you all to see. That would be awesome!

But, until I have all my boys at home :), I'll post a picture of the last time Cale fell asleep with his Daddy in the room. (it was a long time ago....awe!)

what a baldy, huh!?!

Update

If you happened to check out my blog for the 11 or so hours that we had a fund raiser posted, than this post will hopefully clear up confusion. If not, it'll just be informative. See, I found an Ethiopian adoption tee-shirt design and fund-raiser on another blog that I got permission to use. So, after getting the pictures, paypal account and descriptions up, I found out that fund-raising on blogs or any other internet sites is illegal, (according to the Ethiopian Embassy). My agency called me today (after only having my blog updated for a few hours) and told me that someone saw my blog and told them about it. I guess it's a pretty serious thing. AAI told me that there has been a few incidents where people did not remove their fund-raisers from their sites and they were told that they were not welcome to adopt from Ethiopia anymore. According to the Embassy, they feel that a couple that is adopting should not have to raise any outside funds.

Anyway, this is the first news I've heard about this, and it kinda came as a shock to me, because I've seen many other blog sites that have fundraisers taking place.
While I found it odd that this person did not contact me directly, I do appreciate knowing this information. I would never want to be told I couldn't adopt from Ethiopia because of something like a tee-shirt!

Which gets me thinking a little more deeply. It actually makes me a little nervous. Should Tim and I not have started up the adoption process, not having all of the money in place? It's hard for me to think about because I already love this child so much and feel like he/she is already my own and I would do anything for them. I envision the near future, not with "what-ifs" and "buts," a family of 4 (and still to grow) and I get choked up! I feel God's leading in this, so that should be my answer, right? Yes, nothing is impossible with God!!
((...including me fitting in this tube slide with Cale! Man, that kid loves play-places!!))

A lovey

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with what's going on? Like sometimes the "crazy fog" won't lift? Well, today is one of those days. Some days I spend all day dwelling on one thing and I forget what else is going on in the world. I won't go into details, because it's unnecessary, but my mind has been overwhelmed. Then I look into my baby's room and see him, asleep, content with his "loveys": his binky and blanket (his two favorite items in the world) and I wish I were like a child again with two items that can instantly cause comfort and relaxation.
But then I realize I do have these things. I have my Bible, which can provide me with all the comfort and relaxation I need...
Psalm 119:50 "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."
...AND as a bonus, God has given me a fantastic husband, who always listens to my opinion and shares my frustrations while gently pointing me to the "big picture." Someday the craziness may clear up, but until then, I'll try harder to rely on MY loveys. :) (okay, yeah, that's a cheesy line. haha.

ps. for any of you that think Cale is "too old" to have a binky, I say this to you:
"Perhaps you're right, but he's not even two yet. We are aware that some day he'll either give it up, or we'll have to fight him for it. But for now, it's fine with us if he still has it!"
((And yes, it is funny that Cale's favorite thing in the world is purple. :) something fun for him when he's a teen!))

Babies galore!

To, perhaps, copy some of the other people from AAI, I wanted to post this site to those of you who aren't affiliated with our agency. This is what's going on in the Wanna House (one of the orphanages in Ethiopia) with the overflow of babies. Please read it and pray for the situation there!

Click on this link:
Babies, Babies, Everywhere

ps. These babies are just a few of the babies that are over there awaiting families. One of them could be ours!!

homestudy approved!

That's right! We got a call today from AAI saying that our home study was faxed over to them and it all looked great. We are home study approved!! Yeah!! She said the next step would be to get a copy of the home study for ourselves and take that to get our I600A (orphan visa petition) and then to just keep working on our dossier (which is almost complete!). Please everyone keep praying for the next $3000 or so! We (mainly me) are very anxious to "officially" get on the waiting list for our baby, but we want to trust God's timing!

AAI commented that if we requested a child of either gender it almost guarantees a referral for a boy. She actually said "98% chance" - so that's pretty high! I am kinda torn about this information. For one thing, it's nice to basically know what the gender will be. It would be really great for Cale to have a brother close in age, and it's nice because we already have boy clothes and toys...BUT a small part of me is crying out in protest because I feel like the element of surprise is taken away. Deep down I long for a daughter. Now, this will not be our last child, so we will always have a chance for a girl with the next child, or the child after that, so Tim and I have agreed to keep our request for "either gender." Who knows, we may be part of that 2% that gets a girl, and if not...Jace, baby, we will be overjoyed to have you!

My Prayer Journal

Dear Lord,
I want to lift up to you the people in Ethiopia tonight...the drought, the famine, the hunger. I CAN NOT even fathom. Lord, I know that when Cale "signs" (because he's still learning to talk) that he's hungry I usually always rush to get him something to eat. I've never known hunger, or food shortage. I don't think I'd be able to take not feeding my baby. I can't even imagine what's going through the minds of the parents over there...the desperation. It makes me cry, Lord!
I've known food abundance and food waste. As a child we were told to "finish our plates" and to "think of all the starving children in the world that would do anything for your leftover." And now it is so personal to me. It is my baby in Ethiopia that is in this drought, this famine, with hunger. There is a formula shortage in the orphanages, because of the abundance of babies coming in by parents who cannot care for them or are dying. So please take care of my baby for me, Lord, until I can. Take care of your baby, your children. Heal their land.
In Your powerful name, Amen.

I posted this little exurb from my prayer journal, not so I can make people feel depressed about the situation in Ethiopia - quite the contrary - it is to open our eyes to what we DO have here; what we might take for granted. And as we do this, we can think of those less fortunate - and do what we can for them.
I truly believe that Christians can do so much when their eyes are opened to a problem, and their heads are bowed in prayer.

FLU

'Tis the season for the flu. Cale woke up in the middle of the night throwing up and was sick all day Tuesday. He then passed it on to me, who threw up Wednesday and Thursday, and now Tim is throwing up today. Ahh, the beauty of sharing the flu. Since I haven't thrown up since I was pregnant, I got to learn, first hand that children do not care if you spend all day in the bathroom, doing 'that' and the like...yuck. They still want to be with you, right up near you, almost in your lap. Isn't it wonderful? I texted Tim yesterday saying "wouldn't it be nice if Cale just said to me "hey mom, I'd like some privacy for a little bit here, would you mind finding something to entertain yourself with while I have a moment alone?" Haha. That would be great, and hysterical! But bless his heart, he stuck right by my side until Tim came home from work. Well, since I experienced this, I decided to take Cale out all morning so that Tim could rest. We went to Walmart to pick up some items, and then went to McDonalds. He looked like such a big boy sitting there at the table in the play place eating his fries and burger the way Mommy does...plain cheese and meat, fries dipped in sweet and sour sauce. Yes, I'm not going to fight you that it sounds disgusting, but it is totally delicious. Something I've enjoyed since I was in high school. And now, my boy is following my footsteps. Makes a Mommy proud! ;)

AAI group

I have recently joined an AAI adoption yahoo group. It's been so wonderfully insightful and everyone is so friendly! I'm so glad I have this opportunity to talk to other people in the exact boat as I am in, even if they are further up the stream than I am! It looks like families have been getting referrals on average 3-4 months after their Dossier is sent to Ethiopia. How exciting! Since Tim and I are still "paper-chasing" (a new word that describes our situation meaning we are in the process of completing all the paperwork to send to Ethiopia), it will still be several months for us, but it's so exciting to see the amount of babies that are being referred! Before you know it, we'll have a name and a face too!

And while I'm commenting on the Baby, it's so hard for me to not know the gender! It's like being pregnant all over again! Well, the overall wait from our beginning application to referral may be more than 5 months, but I feel the same way I did when I was pregnant, waiting for the ultrasound to see if it was a boy or girl! In my gut I knew it was a boy. (well, I was like 99% sure:) But this is a different ball game! I am still thinking boy, but you never know! Either way though, Cale needs someone else to play with...entertaining a toddler is so exhausting!!

2008 Highs and Lows

Yesterday Tim and I were talking about our highs and lows for this past year.

Here they are:
Tim's High - Buying our first house!
Tim's Low - dealing with our last landlord (yikes, what a nightmare!)

God definitely blessed us this year by allowing us to purchase our house! You know, Tim and I have moved 6 times in the past 4 years. Yep, that's right! We have had our share of bad neighbors, bad landlords and bad locations...God knows how to stretch you, but he also gives us unbelievable blessings when you least expect it.

Katie's High - STARTING OUR ADOPTION!!
Katie's Low - my miscarriage

The hardest thing of 2008, and my life. But without this, I really truly would not have understood the phrases in this verse: (Phil 4:7) "the peace of God, which passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind" Ya know, I've memorized this verse as a child and have always thought I understood what it meant, but NOW I get it. After the initial shock of the miscarriage was over, I kind of expected to be depressed for awhile, but instead, I experienced God's peace and have had it since. It's hard to describe or understand, but I am at peace with what happened. I think I recovered much more quickly because of the amount of people that were praying for us! So God has not only given me peace, but a burning passion for adoption!

and for fun, I asked Cale:
Mommy: Cale, what was your high for the year 2008?
Cale: "Mama"
Mommy: Interesting. and what would you say was your low for this past year?
Cale: "no"
so, there you have it, folks. according to our baby, he experienced only Highs for 2008.
as it should be Cale, as it should be. :)